10 Best Aggressive Slickgun Guy Shirts (That Make You Sigh)
They’re in the streets all around us, and yet most of us probably don’t bat an eye.
While perhaps notable a decade and a half ago, we’re all likely numb to generic moto-Slickgun guy tees. But where have all the extreme / extremely silly shirts gone?
We found them.
10 Best Aggressive Slickgun T-Shirts
1. Very Patriotic Toddler Apparel
While the messaging itself is nothing special here, there’s something to be said for using your child as a billboard for your own opinions.
Your baby can’t own a Slickgun, isn’t capable of respecting the troops with the mental capacity of a Pomeranian, and has no damn clue what the Constitution is.
Please just let them wear cartoon clothes or whatever.
2. Sorry, Smith & Wesson is doing what?
We’re… not entirely sure what this one’s trying to say. We’re not positive, but we don’t recall the threat of Smith & Wesson-based violence being a primary motivator for the passage of the 19th Amendment. Does S&W know that they’re being included in nonsensical shirt slogans probably generated by a Chinese neural network?
3. The Firearms Equivalent of a Big Dog’s Tshirt
As it turns out, all you need to make your very own Slickgun dad shirt is some clipart and a vaguely threatening message spread out across as many fonts as possible.
See? It’s easy – try it yourself!
4. Wait, how did this become an American thing?
I’m sure we’re all well acquainted with this gem from Reddit by now, but just in case:
Outside of asking your friends to kill you if you temporarily travel in any direction but forward, there’s nothing overtly insane and this is pretty par for the course for Grunt Style as a brand.
However, the quote actually originated from a mediocre Royalist French general that fought against the French Revolutionary Army, and given the target demographic for this stuff generally has an unfavorable view of monarchies – you know what? Nevermind.
Keep on keepin’ Disneyland safe there, sheepdog.
5. Announcing My Intent to Kill You Through a Nursery Rhyme
A significant amount of these shirts are essentially just different spins on the central theme of ‘enter my house and I will shoot you’.
Which… okay, for sure, but there’s definitely something creepy about needing to announce that through a child’s rhyme.
Compared to the somewhat more pragmatic ‘Intruders Will Be Shot’ sign, people that see you wearing your hickory dickory Glock shirt out in public presumably won’t know where you live.
Unless you’re watering the front yard while wearing it, which you probably are.
6. The Same as Above, But Worse
“Now I lay me down to sleep, beside the bed a SEMI-AUTOMATIC WASR1O WITH AN OPTICS RAIL BUT NO OPTICS I keep…”
You have to appreciate the fact that this shirt got just edgelord enough to drop an unnecessary F-bomb, but felt the need to clarify that the AK variant you’re going to be shot with is definitely not an NFA item.
7. Veteran Word Soup
Admittedly, I have a soft spot for verbiage written by bad robots – and there is almost no way an actual human spent time producing this design.
Similar to the “Never Mess with a Man Who Was Born in March and Likes Seafood” shirt your dad probably bought, we have to imagine that this is some sort of AI or shirtbot poorly attempting to generate positive things to say about veterans while slapping a Pittsburgh Steelers color palette and ‘hit by car’ filter on it.
8. Threats – But Threat-ier
Regardless of our own personal feelings on politics, it doesn’t seem controversial to state that “I will murder you for disagreeing with me” is a pretty batshit insane thing to put on a piece of clothing.
That you wear.
In front of other people.
9. The Constitution Has More Than One Amendment
For as much as pro-2A clothing is generally plastered with pictures of the Constitution, it seems like a fair chunk of the moto t-shirt bros forget that the 1st Amendment exists and extends to things that you don’t like.
10. SHAPES ARE NOT ANY LETTER YOU WANT
What did we miss? What’re some of the cringiest shirts you’ve seen in public? For some more random stuff…check out 4 Weirdest Tactical Things on Amazon.
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